Silent Affairs (Part 3)
She wasn’t exactly how he had remembered her. Her hair was longer now, there was no reservation in her manners as she spoke to other actors confidently, audibly and walked around the stage in elegance. This was a stark contrast to her shy and reserved personality when she was in Canada as an exchange student.
There were a couple of times during the soliloquy sequences when she would glance at him. Among the remaining unanswerable questions, it is only fitting to add another – why he felt shortness of breath when his eyes would catch hers. He wasn’t sure if she noticed him or not, but he could feel his cheeks burning. ‘Calm down idiot, she has no idea!’ the inner voice would tell the nervous shell.
He finally breathed in relief when the first break began, certain of himself that she didn’t notice him, albeit, the thought didn’t make him any happier. It is an odd human trait many are aware of, when one is afraid of the consequences of their desire, one tries harder to conceal their true nature yet secretly wishing to be sought and accepted.
‘What’re you hoping for? That after rejecting you seven years ago, she’ll feel differently and maybe even reciprocate?...Would it be too much to ask?’ The wall of denial had finally outlived its life and there was no use leaning on it any longer to justify the unprecedented course of his actions. He acknowledged he still possessed some feelings for her, but this time his mind voiced a stronger say in the matter. Being a pragmatist the renewal of this feeling brought the same array of fear and pessimistic expectations as once before seven years ago, and he had no desire to relive it all over again. He let out an apathetic chuckle, and shook his head at the eccentricity of his recent actions. "Oh, you stupid, stupid man." He said to himself inaudibly, forcing himself to tend to the present. He walked along the hallway mingling with the crowd.
The bell rang again. Act 1, Scene 5 - Ella’s marriage. Her scene. He walked back slowly and sat down as the curtains drew up to reveal the bride in white.
(Contd...)
There were a couple of times during the soliloquy sequences when she would glance at him. Among the remaining unanswerable questions, it is only fitting to add another – why he felt shortness of breath when his eyes would catch hers. He wasn’t sure if she noticed him or not, but he could feel his cheeks burning. ‘Calm down idiot, she has no idea!’ the inner voice would tell the nervous shell.
He finally breathed in relief when the first break began, certain of himself that she didn’t notice him, albeit, the thought didn’t make him any happier. It is an odd human trait many are aware of, when one is afraid of the consequences of their desire, one tries harder to conceal their true nature yet secretly wishing to be sought and accepted.
‘What’re you hoping for? That after rejecting you seven years ago, she’ll feel differently and maybe even reciprocate?...Would it be too much to ask?’ The wall of denial had finally outlived its life and there was no use leaning on it any longer to justify the unprecedented course of his actions. He acknowledged he still possessed some feelings for her, but this time his mind voiced a stronger say in the matter. Being a pragmatist the renewal of this feeling brought the same array of fear and pessimistic expectations as once before seven years ago, and he had no desire to relive it all over again. He let out an apathetic chuckle, and shook his head at the eccentricity of his recent actions. "Oh, you stupid, stupid man." He said to himself inaudibly, forcing himself to tend to the present. He walked along the hallway mingling with the crowd.
The bell rang again. Act 1, Scene 5 - Ella’s marriage. Her scene. He walked back slowly and sat down as the curtains drew up to reveal the bride in white.
(Contd...)
posted by fox | 6:36 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home