..when the mind ceases to think..

...some organized incoherence.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Dear you,

You’re missed.

But this time I know why. I’m not sure what you’re up to but at the very least I hope you’re safe and well.

I think at this point I can aptly peg you as half a dream. If there wasn’t a history of our IM conversations that I could refer to, I’d actually begin to question your existence and consequently my sanity. Kudos on being so frustratingly elusive. Anyways, all I know is that I conspire to slow the time when you’re there, and I wish for your presence and wellness when you aren’t.

You know, you work in odd ways. After trying to put my life together in the past year, desperately seeking some form of clarity amidst the perpetual trepidations and keeping your silent voice as my starting point, I have finally begun to find a direction. For the life of me, I have no idea as to what role you're supposed to play in my life but it is enough for me to try harder and pave a path towards you. Whether it materializes or not, or whether you’re there at the other end or not is something I leave in god’s hands. If something happens, then I’d luck out, and if not, you can have your consolation that I learnt to try my best.

I also wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for putting you off…a recurring pattern in our past few conversations. I don’t know how things are for you but I probably didn’t make it any easier from my side. I wish there was some fine way to convince you that you can confide in me and allow me to help in whatever way I can. Is it really so hard?

Till now, being a realist I’ve patiently waited for an excuse to write you off and I haven't been able to find any, so now I’ve decided to breathe life back into the dreamer and have both conspire a way to steal you. One day…

Until then, I’ll silently play along whenever you choose to drop by in my “demi-dreams". Stay well.

Indefinitely yours,